Who am I when I am with you...

I am wondering and it is a good thing to wonder...

Who am I when I am in communication with you.

Lets establish that communication in this context is wider than just verbal communication. It could be what I am doing, behaving, my thoughts etc. Even when I am in silence... I am communicating too.

There is always an intention when I am in communication or in interaction with anyone. Even when I am just saying that I have no intention and just wanna have a casual chat with you or any friends especially at Coffee Outlets or Teh Tarik Joints, it is still an intention.

I got a realisation after reading a book about who I am when I am with you and others.

First, I realise that there is an intention when I am in communication. The intention is always for the higher good like building a relationship or getting things done at work for the company. At home, it could be to ensure the things need to be handled are handled e.g. sending the kids to school.

Second, when I said that I am in communication to add value to others, I have two choices, honour the intention and not honour the intention.

When I honour the intention, that it is ok.

Third, when I do not honour the intention, there is a possibility that I may be treating you to serve only my purpose. This is when possibly many problems like blaming, justifying and being in denial could start. Certain emotion could also flare up like anger and upset.

And when I communicate with you or behave other than to serve the higher good intended earlier, I will naturally have 3 ways of seeing you, whether you are an obstacle, vehicle or irrelevant.

I will see you as a vehicle when you will support me to get what I want. Do you ever wonder when someone is too nice to you in a moment and he is not like that all the time?

I will see you as obstacle when you are in my way to get to what I want. How would you feel when everything you said is being challenged? By being in silence, it can also be challenging too.

I will see you as irrelevant when you are not important to me as you are not in my agenda to achieve my desired result. How would you feel when we are having a conversation and my mind is not with you? I know the feeling.

When I do this, I may be upsetting you or causing you to be angry.

I would have many reasons for my behaviour but it could be a vicious cycle as you and others could be reacting to me the same way too.

Since I could be the source, I would then go back to the intention for me being in communication with you and respond to how I can honour it.

Being aware of my intention and how I behave towards others are 2 great things to do now.

ciao.

Izam