Do you get easily upset when someone commented on your work? Are you upset only when "that someone important to you" commented or are you upset when anyone commented?
A team was working on a project, putting their heart & soul into the work. Instead of receiving acknowledgement or recognition for the work done, they were criticised and received negative remarks. The whole team were feeling down and the work got affected for a short while.
I think these happen to some people at one point of time or another.
A team was working on a project, putting their heart & soul into the work. Instead of receiving acknowledgement or recognition for the work done, they were criticised and received negative remarks. The whole team were feeling down and the work got affected for a short while.
I think these happen to some people at one point of time or another.
In general, some people may do things to seek attention, acknowledgement or recognition knowingly or not. When they do not get it, they get upset. It is like a drug. The more they get it, the better they perform.
It is ok to seek attention, recognition or acknowledgement and there is nothing wrong for feeling upset. It is just that we need to recognise where we are coming from.
As we are growing up, we do need attention, acknowledgement and recognition. Words like "well done" and "I am proud of you" make a child move mountains. It is the same with us adult.
However it is good to look at it again once in a while so that we are not addicted with this external validation.
This is the moment where I may go into my feelings and have conversations like the feeling of not good enough, questioning whether I have done the best I could, what else I can do, did I do the right thing, what else others are saying about me, how do I justify my work and many more self defeating conversations.
In the above situation, I acknowledge that the mind may go wild. No one wants to look bad.
When I am upset, I would assess the whole situation again and my inner self.
This is the moment where I may go into my feelings and have conversations like the feeling of not good enough, questioning whether I have done the best I could, what else I can do, did I do the right thing, what else others are saying about me, how do I justify my work and many more self defeating conversations.
In the above situation, I acknowledge that the mind may go wild. No one wants to look bad.
When I am upset, I would assess the whole situation again and my inner self.
Was I clear with the goal set?
What was my intention in the whole scheme?
Am I in integrity with the efforts I put in?
Have I given my all in the project?
Am I congruent?
The inner voice will be the guide and tell me the truth. Maybe there is something in my feelings which I need to work out.
It is good to check and recheck our feelings, seek forgiveness from Allah and pray that we are doing the right thing and are shown the right path. Amin.
Do you feel the same? What do you do about it?
ciao
Izam
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4 comments:
Thanks Izam for sharing! WOW!Very interesting topic...as human BE-ing I believe that I like to be acknowledged and to get recognition..emm..mesti mau ingat tak boleh sampai timbul rasa "riak" di hati bila dapat recognition and acknowledgement...and for me, if i get the acknowledgement and recognition, I feel motivated to work...
nora
Ultimately, the highest form of recognition and acknowledgement is the one that one gives oneself. You should pat yourself on the back.........
Great post. Looking forward to the next one.
it's a kind of positive reinforcement,isn't it??
i like the word: "Well done...",juz like dumbledore( the head master of hogwart) always say to harry potter ^_^
three causes of upset:
1. thwarted intention
2. unfulfilled expectation
3. undelivered communication
upset comes from 1 or 2 or ALL the above.
look and ponder, and I find that all those causes comes from 'I'. I have thwarted intention, unfulfilled expectation and/or undelivered communication. Unless I take action, nothing moves.
Have a great week Izam.
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