What past successes means...

I have to admit that I have challenges writing in this blog at present.

I have been getting good reviews from friends and relatives regarding my blog. And this makes me wants to write better and clearer. I recognised that when I am in this state, I am using my past successes in creating my future and I am not in the present.

As I opened my blog over the last one month, I have this thought about inspiring others via my blog and what should I write to achieve the intention. Honestly, by being in that state, i am not authentic in my writing. When I felt this inauthenticity, i can't write. I am writing to impress people rather than impart my experiences and learnings.

I remembered the flipchart - 'Interesting vs Interested'. I was being 'interesting' and not being 'interested' in the people reading my blog. Instead of focusing on what people can get out of my sharing (interested), I am being 'looking good' & wanting to know what people would comment on my article (interesting).

Astaghfirullah... I thank Allah for this realisation and I am back writing from the heart. Syukur Alhamdulillah.

What I learned...

My past perceived successes were in the way for me to create something new. Creation happen from 'nothingness'. I can take the experiences and learnings from the past and not the emotions.

I got the para below from a friend's email and I think it is relevant.

"Imam Ibnul Qayyim (rahimahullaah) states in Al Fawaa-id that Ibn Sad (rahimahullaah) mentions in At Tabaqaat about Umar Bin Abdul Azeez (rahimahullaah) that:
Whenever he delivered a khutbah on the mimbar, and feared being amazed by himself; he would terminate it (i.e. the khutbah)
And whenever he wrote a letter and feared amazement by way of it; he would tear it.
And he would say: ''O Allaah! I seek refuge in you from the evil of my nafs.''
Source: Al Fawaa-id of Imaam Ibnul Qayyim (rahimahullaah) (page: 225) "

ciao

Izam