Is our children re-living the past which we never had or re-living our past which we treasure?
I remembered during my growing up days, I have time to do almost everything and there is still lots of time to spare.
Nowadays, kids go to school as early as 3 years old, start tuition as early as 6 years old, go to these classes as early as 4 years old - piano lesson, karate class, taekwando class, tennis lesson, golf lesson, english and math classes, other learning skills, english and mathematics classes, school holidays motivation classes, religious class and many more on top of the daily school activities.
Gosh... I wonder how my daughter cope with a fraction of the above activities in the time that she has. Then I begin to wonder and it is a good thing to wonder.
In all the things that I want to expose her with the intention of providing her the best education and personal development, how many of those activities are inserted in order to make up of the things which I did not manage to go through when I was a kid for what ever reason or those activities mentioned above are the activities which I went through and I want my kids to go through the same path like I did because it worked for me.
The question I asked myself is is she re-living my past for me where I was not able to enjoy or I want her to be like me. Am I burdening her?
I only want to make sure that she enjoys what she is doing and she will do her best.
When I am aware of this possible hidden agenda that I might have, I relook at all the things which my daughter is doing now and I work through my feelings and declare that the things which she is doing is for her growth and not for me.
Another journey for me is to assess the 'growth template' which I used for the first child and whether it is applicable to my other kids. As at now... the same development model does not work. The younger one is different and too playful. :)
ciao
Izam
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7 comments:
so true..I'd like to share my experience with my own kids - they have different needs & wants..all so different from the other. As a mum, I wanted to give them all that I never had, all that I thought was best for them..but they know differently & Alhamdulillah, they've thought us to listen, to give them what THEY need & to nurture them in their own unique way. Thank you for sharing, Izam..keep sharing
Good post. One thing that comes to mind is that in providing what we think is best for the children, what happens when its not what they want and they start doing things for us instead of for themselves. Would they see themselves as failures when they don't meet the expectations.....
WOW!Great sharing Izam..thanks!...I love the topic bout children very much...that's one of the most challenging areas for me in my life to work on.. it keeps reminding me what the 'sahabah'of the prophet said;"educate your children according to their era not according to our era."
nora
Thank you for sharing your experience.
I like children very much..For me, educating my own children in this era of millenium is great challenges...It reminds me what sahabat of the Prophet s.w.t said ;" educate your children according to their era not according to our era."
Thanks Izam for great sharing!
nora
I would like to pick Nora's statement which that `the Prophet said to educate the young according to our era'. What does that mean specifically? I thought that Islam and the Prophet teachings are complete and can't be changed due to its relevancy throughout all era/zaman? Please explain. This Q means no harm, but maybe i'm lack of knowledge in Islam.
perhaps one day, i would be questioning myself the same things.. givin em what they want, and satisfying my ownself to give em what i have neve get before..
all in all...its all educating..
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